This is an address by Azim Premji in the 'Shaping Young Minds Program' (SYMP)
organized by AIMA in collaboration with the Bombay Management Association (BMA)
in Mumbai on 'My Lessons in Life'.
Azim Premji
I am very happy to be here with you. It is always wonderful to be with young
people. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt
without the pepper, I have begun to realize the importance of youth. At the same
time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along
the way. I hope you will find them useful when you plan your own career and
life.
First
The first thing I have learnt is that we must always begin with our strengths.
There is an imaginary story of a rabbit. The rabbit was enrolled in a rabbit
school. Like all rabbits, it could hop very well but could not swim. At the end
of the year, the rabbit got high marks in hopping but failed in swimming. The
parents were concerned. They said, 'Forget about hopping. You are anyway good at
it. Concentrate on swimming.' They sent the rabbit for tuitions in swimming. And
guess what happened? The rabbit forgot how to hop! As for swimming, have you
ever seen a rabbit swim? While it is important for us to know what we are not
good at, we must also cherish what is good in us. That is because it is only our
strengths that can give us the energy to correct our weaknesses.
Second
The second lesson I have learnt is that a rupee earned is of far more value than
five found. My friend was sharing me the story of his eight year-old niece. She
would always complain about the breakfast. The cook tried everything possible,
but the child remained unhappy. Finally, my friend took the child to a
supermarket and brought one of those ready-to-cook packets. The child had to cut
the packet and pour water in the dish. The child found the food to be absolutely
delicious? The difference was that she has cooked it! In my own life, I have
found that nothing gives as much satisfaction as earning our rewards. In fact,
what is gifted or inherited follows the old rule of come easy, go easy. I guess
we only know the value of what we have if we have struggled to earn it.
Third
The third lesson I have learnt is no one bats a hundred every time. Life has
many challenges. You win some and lose some. You must enjoy winning. But do not
let it go to the head. The moment it does, you are already on your way to
failure. And if you do encounter failure along the way, treat it as an equally
natural phenomenon. Don't beat yourself for it or any one else for that matter!
Accept it, look at your own share in the problem, learn from it and move on. The
important thing is, when you lose, do not lose the lesson.
Fourth
The fourth lesson I have learnt is the importance of humility. Sometimes, when
you get so much in life, you really start wondering whether you deserve all of
it. We have so much to be grateful for. Our parents, our teachers and our
seniors have done so much for us that we can never repay them. Many people focus
on the shortcomings, because obviously no one can be perfect. But it is
important to first acknowledge what we have received. Nothing in life is
permanent but when a relationship ends, rather than becoming bitter, we must
learn to savor the memory of the good things while they lasted.
Fifth
The fifth lesson I learnt is that we must always strive for excellence. One way
of achieving excellence is by looking at those better than ourselves. Keep
learning what they do differently. But excellence cannot be imposed from the
outside. We must also feel the need from within. It must involve not only our
mind but also our heart and soul. Excellence is not an act but a habit. I
remember the inspiring lines of a poem, which says that your reach must always
exceed your grasp. That is heaven on earth. Ultimately, your only competition is
yourself.
Sixth
The sixth lesson I have learnt is never give up in the face of adversity. It
comes on you suddenly without warning. Always keep in mind that it is only the
test of fire that makes fine steel. A friend of mine shared this incident with
me. His eight-year old daughter was struggling away at a jigsaw puzzle. She kept
at it for hours but could not succeed. Finally, it went beyond her bedtime. My
friend told her, 'Look, why don't you just give up? I don't think you will
complete it tonight. Look at it another day.' The daughter looked with a strange
look in her eyes, 'But, dad, why should I give up? All the pieces are there! I
have just got to put them together!' If we persevere long enough, we can put any
problem into its perspective.
Seventh
The seventh lesson I have learnt is that while you must be open to change, do
not compromise on your values. Mahatma Gandhiji often said that you must open
the windows of your mind, but you must not be swept off your feet by the breeze.
Values like honesty, integrity, consideration and humility have survived for
generations. At the end of the day, it is values that define a person more than
the achievements. Do not be tempted by short cuts. The short cut can make you
lose your way and end up becoming the longest way to the destination.
Final
And the final lesson I learnt is that we must have faith in our own ideas even
if everyone tells us that we are wrong. There was once a newspaper vendor who
had a rude customer. Every morning, the Customer would walk by, refuse to return
the greeting, grab the paper off the shelf and throw the money at the vendor.
The vendor would pick up the money, smile politely and say, 'Thank you, Sir.'
One day, the vendor's assistant asked him, 'Why are you always so polite with
him when he is so rude to you? Why don't you throw the newspaper at him when he
comes back tomorrow?' The vendor smiled and replied, 'He can't help being rude
and I can't help being polite. Why should I let his rude behavior dictate my
politeness?
I hope you achieve success in whatever way you define it and what gives you the
maximum happiness in life. 'Remember, those who win are those who believe they
can.'
-Azim Premji
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Repair Your Aging Brain in Just 15 Minutes a Day…
Repair Your Aging Brain in Just 15 Minutes a Day…
By Al Sears, MD
If your doctor said mental decline is simply a part of aging, I’m here to say think again. While it may not be possible to completely prevent memory lapses, you can hold on to a quick and sharp mind as you get older.
This report will help you preserve and promote your brainpower. Many of these simple exercises take just minutes a day. They’re easy to understand and easy to do.
I’ll show you:
1. Tools you can use to reverse cognitive decline
2. How to beat the brain-destroying effects of cortisol
3. The best way to protect yourself from dreaded Alzheimer’s Disease
Build New Networks and Ward Off Age-Related Decline
Scientists are finding exciting new evidence of the brain’s tremendous capacity to repair itself. No matter how old you are, the brain can modify its structure, staving off age related decline. When one network of neurons dies, the brain can sprout brand-new connections and create another network.
In one study, doctors compared the memories of people in their 20s with those in their 70s. Each group looked at 16 words and tried to remember them. The researchers found that with practice the older group performed just as well as the younger people.1
But here’s the most surprising finding: as they performed this mental task, brain scans showed the younger people used their frontal lobes (the normal area for memory), but the older group used a different part of the brain – the area associated with vision. So how can some elders remain sharp like this while others slip into dementia? The answer has little to do with genes or luck…
Your Brain is Like a Muscle… Use It or Lose It
Your brain is a dynamic, adaptable system. Its neurons respond to environmental factors and mental stimulation. By stimulating your mind, you preserve your memory. What’s more, you can even restore the clarity you had in your youth!
Neuroscientists have two main terms for the brain’s ability to adapt:
Neuroplasticity: Neuroplasticity describes the brain’s ability to keep its cells plastic, giving it the capacity to rearranging old connections and laying down new ones. Flexible neurons allow us to master new skills, memorize, and adjust to unfamiliar environments.2
Neurogenesis: Neurogenesis describes the brain’s ability to restore itself by generating new neurons. Inside the hippocampus, the central location for memory function in adults, is the dentate gyrus. The dentate gyrus is the only region of the hippocampus that supports neurogenesis.3
Researchers have been making some exciting advances in the study of both neuroplasticiy and neurogenisis. And one of the most promising studies of how to improve cognitive performance is still going strong. It’s The Seattle Longitudinal Study of Adult Intelligence. Since 1956, Dr. K. Warner Schaie has followed more than 5,000 people examining their cognitive abilities every seven years. Here are his remarkable findings:
•
Two-thirds of the people following a “mental education program” showed significant improvement often returning to pre-decline cognitive performance levels.
In addition, they maintained these benefits well beyond seven years.4
Other new research shows that the more you use your brain the lower your risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Dr. Stern, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University discovered that people with less than an eighth-grade education had twice the risk of developing Alzheimer's as those with formal education. And if those with lower educational levels worked at mentally un-stimulating jobs, the risk was three times higher. The more connections, or synapses, you develop between brain cells from the use of your brain, the more resistant you are to the disease.5
Whip Your Mind Into Shape With 4 Simple Brain Exercises
How do you develop connections and regenerate your brain? Your two main tools are mental and physical exercise.
By keeping your mind challenged through your own “mental education program,” you can create and strengthen neural networks.
And by keeping your body physically active you can increase blood flow to your brain, therefore promoting the creation of new neurons.
Here are my top suggestions for brain exercises:
Keep it interesting. Research shows that cognitively compelling tasks are associated with a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s. Crossword puzzles are my favorite,
but anything that represents an exciting mental challenge will do such as bridge, Scrabble, and chess.
Suduko is another great brain twister to try. Michael Mariske, co-author of a recent study on the long-term effects of cognitive training on everyday functional outcomes in older adults, thinks it’s reasonable to assume that games like Sudoko could have the same benefits as rhyme and acronym challenges his subjects encountered.6
Make it communal. Your mind benefits from an active social life that includes games, lecture series, and stimulating conversation. Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health discovered evidence that the memories of elderly people with active social lives may decline at a slower rate.
Gathering data from memory assessments conducted every two years from 1998 to 2004, researchers found that individuals who were most integrated in their community had the slowest rate of memory decline. Marital status, volunteer activities, and contact with parents, children and neighbors were the factors in assessment of social integration. What’s more, the findings were independent of factors such as age, gender, and race.7
Remember, being social doesn’t have to mean being with your peers. If you have grandkids, play their favorite board games with them. Teach them how to win at Monopoly, or show them how to play card games.
Take advantage of new technology. Imagine a memory tool you can put in your pocket and take wherever you go. Waiting in line for a movie, stuck at the airport, commuting by train to work? Take out a device such as the Nintendo DS and start working out that noggin!
The Nintendo DS is a handheld device a little bigger than a cell phone. Load the
Brain Age application into it, and you’ve got a treasure load of exercises to challenge your mind. Brain Age, inspired by the work of Japanese neuroscientist Ryuta Kawashima, M.D., comes loaded with math, language, music, and visual games that are as fun as they are challenging.
You can write your answers with the handy stylus for some games and use its voice recognition software for others. When you first play, it will give you a series of tests in order to determine your DS brain age, and then it will track your progression so you can keep track of how well you’re doing.8
Tease your brain. Here’s one for a start. Is the inner shape in the below picture a circle?
9
You can find 49 more such brain teasers at http://www.sharpbrains.com/teasers/
Keep Your Mind Fit with Physical Exercise
Don’t forget that brain exercises are only half of the story. You also need steady physical exercise. You can even combine the two by listening to language tapes as you take walks or do calisthenics.
A study at the Group Health Cooperative in Seattle, Washington that tracked older adults for 6 years found that regular exercise (defined for the study as 3 or more times per week) was associated with about one-third the risk of developing dementia as less frequent exercise. What’s more, those who experienced the greatest risk reduction were the ones who were least physically fit at the start of the study. 10
Here are some good ideas for boosting your memory power and mental agility with physical exercise.
•
Get Your Heart Pumping. Research has linked healthy brains to healthy hearts. Walking, running, swimming and biking are all ways of getting your heart rate up.
“Some people age more successfully than others, and our findings suggest that everyday behaviors and preventive measures – many involved in promoting heart health -- may be able to make a difference in the health of our brains,” said Dr. Ian Cook, lead author and associate professor of psychiatry at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute. “If we don’t take care of our physical health, our brains and minds pay a price as well.” 12
Keep it short, simple and regular. You don’t need an elaborate exercise regimen in order to improve brain health. In the Nurses' Health Study, nearly 122,000 nurses are asked questions every 2 years about their health, diet, illnesses, and lifestyles. Researchers found that walking the equivalent of at least 11⁄2 hours per week at a 21-30 minute-per-mile pace was associated with improved cognitive performance.
Strength train. Some research indicates that lifting weights or other forms of strength training such as push-ups or deep knee bends may stimulate a hormone that protects your brain. 11
Lower Your Stress Hormone for Deeper Relaxation
When it comes to your brain, relaxation is as vital for maintaining memory and cognitive abilities as mental exercises. You see, if you’re wound up too tight all the time, you’re actually killing brain cells.
Stress is a leading cause of mental deterioration as you age. Here’s why: when you’re feeling stressed, your body produces the hormone cortisol. In moderate amounts, cortisol is not that big of a deal. But in larger amounts, it becomes toxic to your brain cells.
Over time, too much stress-induced cortisol ruins your brain’s "biochemical integrity" causing the mental haziness, forgetfulness, and confusion that often comes with aging.
Cortisol threatens your mental health more as you age. Almost all hormone levels fall as you age, but cortisol is one of the very few exceptions. Cortisol actually rises as you grow older.
To preserve a youthful mind, you must actively work to lower your cortisol. You can do this simply by reducing your stress level. Set aside a block of time every day, even if it’s only a couple of minutes, for practicing and enjoying relaxation. Here are some of my favorite stress-reducing strategies:
• Treat yourself to a massage - frequently.
• Do some of your favorite things everyday.
• Focus on your breathing for the sole purpose of relaxation.
• Stop holding it in: Don’t isolate yourself with your worries. Let it out and talk it over.
• Meditate: Meditation is proven to reduce cortisol.
1 “The Latest Research on How the Brain Compensates for Age” Neurobiology of Aging Information American Foundation for Aging Research:
http://www.healthandage.com/html/min/afar/content/other6_4.htm, August 2004.
2 “What is neuroplasticity, anyway?” Memory Zine (http://www.memoryzine.com/neuroplasticity.htm), accessed 8/1/2008.
3 “An in vivo correlate of exercise-induced neurogenesis in the adult dentate gyrus.” Ana C. Pereira et al, http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1838482, 3/20/2007.
4 Schaie, K. Warner 1998. The Seattle Longitudinal Studies of adult intelligence. In M. Powell Lawton & Timothy A. Salthouse (eds) Essential papers on the psychology of aging. NY, NY Univ Pr. Pp263-271.
5 Kotulak, Ronald. Inside the Brain: Revolutionary Discoveries of How the Mind Works (Kansas City, Mo.:Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1997.
6 “Sudoku anyone? Limber brain keeps seniors sharp,” Revolution Health (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/brainnerves/alzheimers/prevention/sudoku)2/25/2007.
7”Active Social Life May Delay Memory Loss Among U.S. Elderly Population,”
Harvard School of Public Health (http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/2008-releases/active-social-life-delay-memory-loss-us-elderly.html), May 29, 2008.
8 “Brain Age,” Brain Age (http://www.brainage.com/), accessed 8/4/2008.
9 http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog/2006/10/19/visual-perception-brain-teaser/, accessed 8/10/2008.
10 “Lessons Learned from Couch Mice, Marathon Mice, and Men and Women Who Like to Walk,” National Institute on Ageing (http://www.nia.nih.gov/Alzheimers/Publications/ADProgress2005_2006/Part2/lessons.htm.htm) 7/30/2007
11 “Memory improvement: Exercise keeps your mind sharp,” Mayo Clinic (
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/memory-improvement/HA00085), 4/30/2007.
12 Healthy Heart Habits Promote Healthier Brains. ScienceDaily (Feb. 23, 2004) http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/02/040223075557.htm
By Al Sears, MD
If your doctor said mental decline is simply a part of aging, I’m here to say think again. While it may not be possible to completely prevent memory lapses, you can hold on to a quick and sharp mind as you get older.
This report will help you preserve and promote your brainpower. Many of these simple exercises take just minutes a day. They’re easy to understand and easy to do.
I’ll show you:
1. Tools you can use to reverse cognitive decline
2. How to beat the brain-destroying effects of cortisol
3. The best way to protect yourself from dreaded Alzheimer’s Disease
Build New Networks and Ward Off Age-Related Decline
Scientists are finding exciting new evidence of the brain’s tremendous capacity to repair itself. No matter how old you are, the brain can modify its structure, staving off age related decline. When one network of neurons dies, the brain can sprout brand-new connections and create another network.
In one study, doctors compared the memories of people in their 20s with those in their 70s. Each group looked at 16 words and tried to remember them. The researchers found that with practice the older group performed just as well as the younger people.1
But here’s the most surprising finding: as they performed this mental task, brain scans showed the younger people used their frontal lobes (the normal area for memory), but the older group used a different part of the brain – the area associated with vision. So how can some elders remain sharp like this while others slip into dementia? The answer has little to do with genes or luck…
Your Brain is Like a Muscle… Use It or Lose It
Your brain is a dynamic, adaptable system. Its neurons respond to environmental factors and mental stimulation. By stimulating your mind, you preserve your memory. What’s more, you can even restore the clarity you had in your youth!
Neuroscientists have two main terms for the brain’s ability to adapt:
Neuroplasticity: Neuroplasticity describes the brain’s ability to keep its cells plastic, giving it the capacity to rearranging old connections and laying down new ones. Flexible neurons allow us to master new skills, memorize, and adjust to unfamiliar environments.2
Neurogenesis: Neurogenesis describes the brain’s ability to restore itself by generating new neurons. Inside the hippocampus, the central location for memory function in adults, is the dentate gyrus. The dentate gyrus is the only region of the hippocampus that supports neurogenesis.3
Researchers have been making some exciting advances in the study of both neuroplasticiy and neurogenisis. And one of the most promising studies of how to improve cognitive performance is still going strong. It’s The Seattle Longitudinal Study of Adult Intelligence. Since 1956, Dr. K. Warner Schaie has followed more than 5,000 people examining their cognitive abilities every seven years. Here are his remarkable findings:
•
Two-thirds of the people following a “mental education program” showed significant improvement often returning to pre-decline cognitive performance levels.
In addition, they maintained these benefits well beyond seven years.4
Other new research shows that the more you use your brain the lower your risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Dr. Stern, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University discovered that people with less than an eighth-grade education had twice the risk of developing Alzheimer's as those with formal education. And if those with lower educational levels worked at mentally un-stimulating jobs, the risk was three times higher. The more connections, or synapses, you develop between brain cells from the use of your brain, the more resistant you are to the disease.5
Whip Your Mind Into Shape With 4 Simple Brain Exercises
How do you develop connections and regenerate your brain? Your two main tools are mental and physical exercise.
By keeping your mind challenged through your own “mental education program,” you can create and strengthen neural networks.
And by keeping your body physically active you can increase blood flow to your brain, therefore promoting the creation of new neurons.
Here are my top suggestions for brain exercises:
Keep it interesting. Research shows that cognitively compelling tasks are associated with a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s. Crossword puzzles are my favorite,
but anything that represents an exciting mental challenge will do such as bridge, Scrabble, and chess.
Suduko is another great brain twister to try. Michael Mariske, co-author of a recent study on the long-term effects of cognitive training on everyday functional outcomes in older adults, thinks it’s reasonable to assume that games like Sudoko could have the same benefits as rhyme and acronym challenges his subjects encountered.6
Make it communal. Your mind benefits from an active social life that includes games, lecture series, and stimulating conversation. Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health discovered evidence that the memories of elderly people with active social lives may decline at a slower rate.
Gathering data from memory assessments conducted every two years from 1998 to 2004, researchers found that individuals who were most integrated in their community had the slowest rate of memory decline. Marital status, volunteer activities, and contact with parents, children and neighbors were the factors in assessment of social integration. What’s more, the findings were independent of factors such as age, gender, and race.7
Remember, being social doesn’t have to mean being with your peers. If you have grandkids, play their favorite board games with them. Teach them how to win at Monopoly, or show them how to play card games.
Take advantage of new technology. Imagine a memory tool you can put in your pocket and take wherever you go. Waiting in line for a movie, stuck at the airport, commuting by train to work? Take out a device such as the Nintendo DS and start working out that noggin!
The Nintendo DS is a handheld device a little bigger than a cell phone. Load the
Brain Age application into it, and you’ve got a treasure load of exercises to challenge your mind. Brain Age, inspired by the work of Japanese neuroscientist Ryuta Kawashima, M.D., comes loaded with math, language, music, and visual games that are as fun as they are challenging.
You can write your answers with the handy stylus for some games and use its voice recognition software for others. When you first play, it will give you a series of tests in order to determine your DS brain age, and then it will track your progression so you can keep track of how well you’re doing.8
Tease your brain. Here’s one for a start. Is the inner shape in the below picture a circle?
9
You can find 49 more such brain teasers at http://www.sharpbrains.com/teasers/
Keep Your Mind Fit with Physical Exercise
Don’t forget that brain exercises are only half of the story. You also need steady physical exercise. You can even combine the two by listening to language tapes as you take walks or do calisthenics.
A study at the Group Health Cooperative in Seattle, Washington that tracked older adults for 6 years found that regular exercise (defined for the study as 3 or more times per week) was associated with about one-third the risk of developing dementia as less frequent exercise. What’s more, those who experienced the greatest risk reduction were the ones who were least physically fit at the start of the study. 10
Here are some good ideas for boosting your memory power and mental agility with physical exercise.
•
Get Your Heart Pumping. Research has linked healthy brains to healthy hearts. Walking, running, swimming and biking are all ways of getting your heart rate up.
“Some people age more successfully than others, and our findings suggest that everyday behaviors and preventive measures – many involved in promoting heart health -- may be able to make a difference in the health of our brains,” said Dr. Ian Cook, lead author and associate professor of psychiatry at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute. “If we don’t take care of our physical health, our brains and minds pay a price as well.” 12
Keep it short, simple and regular. You don’t need an elaborate exercise regimen in order to improve brain health. In the Nurses' Health Study, nearly 122,000 nurses are asked questions every 2 years about their health, diet, illnesses, and lifestyles. Researchers found that walking the equivalent of at least 11⁄2 hours per week at a 21-30 minute-per-mile pace was associated with improved cognitive performance.
Strength train. Some research indicates that lifting weights or other forms of strength training such as push-ups or deep knee bends may stimulate a hormone that protects your brain. 11
Lower Your Stress Hormone for Deeper Relaxation
When it comes to your brain, relaxation is as vital for maintaining memory and cognitive abilities as mental exercises. You see, if you’re wound up too tight all the time, you’re actually killing brain cells.
Stress is a leading cause of mental deterioration as you age. Here’s why: when you’re feeling stressed, your body produces the hormone cortisol. In moderate amounts, cortisol is not that big of a deal. But in larger amounts, it becomes toxic to your brain cells.
Over time, too much stress-induced cortisol ruins your brain’s "biochemical integrity" causing the mental haziness, forgetfulness, and confusion that often comes with aging.
Cortisol threatens your mental health more as you age. Almost all hormone levels fall as you age, but cortisol is one of the very few exceptions. Cortisol actually rises as you grow older.
To preserve a youthful mind, you must actively work to lower your cortisol. You can do this simply by reducing your stress level. Set aside a block of time every day, even if it’s only a couple of minutes, for practicing and enjoying relaxation. Here are some of my favorite stress-reducing strategies:
• Treat yourself to a massage - frequently.
• Do some of your favorite things everyday.
• Focus on your breathing for the sole purpose of relaxation.
• Stop holding it in: Don’t isolate yourself with your worries. Let it out and talk it over.
• Meditate: Meditation is proven to reduce cortisol.
1 “The Latest Research on How the Brain Compensates for Age” Neurobiology of Aging Information American Foundation for Aging Research:
http://www.healthandage.com/html/min/afar/content/other6_4.htm, August 2004.
2 “What is neuroplasticity, anyway?” Memory Zine (http://www.memoryzine.com/neuroplasticity.htm), accessed 8/1/2008.
3 “An in vivo correlate of exercise-induced neurogenesis in the adult dentate gyrus.” Ana C. Pereira et al, http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1838482, 3/20/2007.
4 Schaie, K. Warner 1998. The Seattle Longitudinal Studies of adult intelligence. In M. Powell Lawton & Timothy A. Salthouse (eds) Essential papers on the psychology of aging. NY, NY Univ Pr. Pp263-271.
5 Kotulak, Ronald. Inside the Brain: Revolutionary Discoveries of How the Mind Works (Kansas City, Mo.:Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1997.
6 “Sudoku anyone? Limber brain keeps seniors sharp,” Revolution Health (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/brainnerves/alzheimers/prevention/sudoku)2/25/2007.
7”Active Social Life May Delay Memory Loss Among U.S. Elderly Population,”
Harvard School of Public Health (http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/2008-releases/active-social-life-delay-memory-loss-us-elderly.html), May 29, 2008.
8 “Brain Age,” Brain Age (http://www.brainage.com/), accessed 8/4/2008.
9 http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog/2006/10/19/visual-perception-brain-teaser/, accessed 8/10/2008.
10 “Lessons Learned from Couch Mice, Marathon Mice, and Men and Women Who Like to Walk,” National Institute on Ageing (http://www.nia.nih.gov/Alzheimers/Publications/ADProgress2005_2006/Part2/lessons.htm.htm) 7/30/2007
11 “Memory improvement: Exercise keeps your mind sharp,” Mayo Clinic (
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/memory-improvement/HA00085), 4/30/2007.
12 Healthy Heart Habits Promote Healthier Brains. ScienceDaily (Feb. 23, 2004) http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/02/040223075557.htm
Accomplishment in life !
I love this - I hope you do too !!
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do ha lf of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?''That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do ha lf of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?''That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saving a marriage
Dear Friends,
I had a chance of reading the below story …thought of sharing with you also…
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
I had a chance of reading the below story …thought of sharing with you also…
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
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